Book Recommendations

Highway of Tears
Written by Jessica McDiarmid

In continuation of my personal learning on the treatment of Canada’s First Nations population, I recently read Highway of Tears which examines a stretch of highway in northern British Columbia that has come to symbolize the national crisis of missing and murdered Indigenous women. This book explores history of the area, shares stories and personal recollections of the MMIW, and discusses how long, systemic inaction from RCMP and government led to continued, avoidable tragedy.

Favourite line: “The widespread propensity to refer to marginalized teenagers who are victims as “women” perhaps belies, however unintentionally, the deep-seated tendency in our society to judge victims rather than perpetrators, to find reasons not to care.”

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The Women in Me
Written by Britney Spears

From being one of the world’s biggest pop stars to a woman who represents the right for personal freedom and choice for those affected by poor mental health, Britney’s story is, indeed, a fascinating study. While this (presumably first) memoir is light and lacking some of the details and introspection I was hoping for, I always appreciate hearing people share their perspective. This song will also never not be a total banger transporting me straight back to my twenties. For that, I will always be intrigued.

Favourite line: “But as much as I’ll own my flaws, ultimately, I know that I am a good person. I can see now that you have to be smart enough, vicious enough, deliberate enough to play the game, and I did not know how to play the game.”

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You Will Find Your People
Written by Lane Moore

I first heard of Lane Moore a few years ago and she has quickly become one of my favourite authors. Every time I read her words, I feel like I have found a kindred, empathic spirit. Someone who acts as a lighthouse for others experiencing loneliness and melancholy as an adult, and letting them know they aren’t alone. Her second book, You Will Find Your People, explores how to navigate and create meaningful friendships during a time when they become harder to maintain. It’s a subject not often talked about but perhaps more pervasive than we realize considering how isolated western society has become.

Favourite line: “Having someone you connected with briefly in a really meaningful way is still a form of friendship, one with great value in its own right, even if you feel like it should become more than that to “count”.

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Steve Jobs
Written by Walter Isaacson

This book has been in my rotation for months and I am still not finished. I’m only currently on page 250 (of 577). It’s not a terrible book; far from it. Walter Isaacson is an amazing wordsmith. I’m just not sure when I will complete it as, despite being a visionary who led a team to bring us some of the greatest innovations from the past century, Steve Jobs was a terrible human being. He comes across as a ruthless, narcissist with no regard for friends, colleagues and even family. Amongst the other books I’ve recently indulged in, this biography is too much of a contrast and nothing I choose to be inspired by. One day I will return to it … but for right now, I will leave it at page 250.

Book Recommendations

Boldly Go
Written by William Shatner with Joshua Brandon

When William Shatner, best known for his portrayal of Captain Kirk on Star Trek, touched ground again after visiting space on Blue Origin, Jeff Bezos’ space shuttle in 2021, his live reaction on television captivated me. It was a completely unscripted moment of awe, gratitude and humbleness. I picked this book up to gain more insight and wisdom from that moment but only one (brief) chapter was devoted to it. Most of this book is philosophical recollection on Shatner’s life and career that can be found elsewhere.

Favourite line: “I had thought that going into space would be the ultimate catharsis of that connection I had been looking for between all living things—that being up there would be the next beautiful step to understanding the harmony of the universe. I had a different experience, because I discovered that the beauty isn’t out there, it’s down here, with all of us.”

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I’m Glad My Mom Died
Written by Jennette McCurdy

Star of a mid-2000s Nickelodeon television show, Jennette crafts a well-written, cautionary, and, at times, humorous memoir about the dark subject of having a co-dependent relationship with an abusive narcissistic parent and its continued effects on adulthood.

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Spare
Written by Prince Harry

I’m definitely not a monarchist but couldn't help but be intrigued by this peek behind the curtain of the British Royal Family and the firsthand account of drama within its tax-payer funded ranks. Prince Harry does not hold anything back; in some instances, it is to the point of bluntness that I don’t see repairing relations anytime soon with the family—and life—he left behind (calling his brother, Prince William, “alarmingly bald” seems a bit of a low-blow; Camilla Parker-Bowles is also portrayed as an evil stepmother-type figure). In all though, this is the often sad narrative of a man who never got to properly mourn his mother and seems to still be searching for that closure.

Favourite line: “As the primacy of Self fades … the idea of Service takes over.”

Book Recommendations

Endurance: Shackleton’s Incredible Voyage
Written by Alfred Lansing

The epic adventure presented within the pages of ‘Endurance: Shackleton’s Incredible Voyage’ contrasts sharply with my current state, one in which I’ve become almost a permanent homebody because of the pandemic. But that isn’t the only reason this book intrigued me so. Ernest Shackleton’s story is one of legend, even in short wiki form, so this rigorously researched historical account of exploration, human endurance and survival is one for the ages as he and his crew get stranded in Antarctica for over two years in 1914 with only their wits to save them. This is one of the best books I’ve ever read. Highly recommended.

Favourite line: “In some ways they had come to know themselves better. In this lonely world of ice and emptiness, they had achieved at least a limited kind of contentment. They had been tested and found not wanting.”

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Gastro Obscura
Written by Cecily Wong and Dylan Thuras

The culinary counterpart to one of my favourite books, Atlas Obscura, the Gastro version explores cooking curiosities around the world. I always enjoy reading the engaging content they produce, but there were a few entries here that I have personal history with that seemed a wee bit exaggerated … which made me wonder how many of the entries are truly reflective of everyday cuisine and lifestyle versus fictionalized versions of themselves.

Favourite line: Very curious to try the vanilla ice cream-flavoured South American bean inga edulis.

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Cultish: The Language of Fanaticism
Written by Amanda Montell

I bought this book after watching a LulaRoe documentary during the pandemic and needing to know how seemingly intelligent people get so invested in things that are clearly scams. From multi-level marketing (MLMs) to new age gurus on Instagram to the infamous cults we’ve read about in history books, Cultish explores how language is used to entice, seduce and eventually ruin individuals searching for belonging (whether it be in the form of religion or a community of people who love tacky “buttery soft” leggings).

Favourite line: “But her roommates and old coworkers didn’t want to think about those things, because doing so would make them anxious, suddenly hyperaware of the fact that life fundamentally bends towards entropy, which would conflict with their goal of appearing sympathetic. So they fed her a line—”Everything happens for a reason”—to simplify the situation and put everyone’s cognitive dissonance to bed.

Book Recommendations

Piranesi
Written by Susanna Clarke

This book was recommended to me with the warning that it was different. It is, indeed, different … and very compelling. Once I picked it up, it was hard to put down. This work of fiction was a finalist for the World Fantasy Awards but is it that genre? I can’t say too much. The worlds within Piranesi are for you to figure out.

Favourite line: “They were all enamoured with the idea of progress and believed that whatever was new must be superior to what was old.”

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Pure Invention: How Japan’s Pop Culture Conquered the World
Written by Matt Alt

Japanese pop culture resonates with a lot of people around the world but I didn’t fully realize how deeply its influence reached. Pure Invention is a fascinating study on everything from Nintendo to Hello Kitty, Karaoke to Sony’s Walkman (Steve Jobs was so enamoured with the Japanese technology giant, he visited their headquarters when launching Apple with the hopes of mimicking their style). The connections the book makes to our world today and innovations we now take for granted is thought-provoking. This book is on my shortlist of favourites for 2021.

Favourite line: “A great many things we global citizens take for granted in our constantly connected digital lives were pioneered by schoolgirls on the streets of Tokyo.”

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On All Fronts: The Education of a Journalist
Written by Clarissa Ward

I became fascinated with Clarissa Ward after seeing her CNN footage during the fall of Kabul. Here was a woman, in the middle of an uprising in a country with new government that hates women, fearlessly putting herself out there to share what was happening and connect citizen’s stories to an international audience. I purchased her autobiography right away. This book is just the right mix of current world history, insight into the process of reporting it, and getting to know the author as a person.

Favourite line: We talked about my concern that the Syrian uprising was losing its original spirit, one I had seen so vividly in Damascus, because it had become so bloody.
”Nothing in the world is pure,” he said. “If you yearn for that, you’ll always be disappointed. I’m satisfied to catch glimpses of brilliance in the rubble.”
”Rubble’s not the only place to find those glimpses,” I replied.
”Nah, you’re right. But the contrast makes it brighter.”

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Bourdain: The Definitive Oral Biography
Written by Laurie Woolever

Anthony Bourdain was one of my favourite celebrities and I was saddened by his untimely death in 2018. He lived a life I—and many others—coveted, traveling the world while experiencing great conversation and great food. But sometimes things are not always what they seem and this book, through interviews with friends, family and colleagues, uncovers the many facets of a man we thought we knew. While reading, I was surprised at Tony’s lack of interpersonal interaction with those working behind-the-scenes on his shows (“it took about two years for Tony to remember my name”). Ultimately, this book is a cautionary tale about addiction in many different forms.

Favourite line: “It was like he pulled the curtain back—the sort of work it takes, the focus, style, intelligence, a big mental museum of experiences and drive to write a book.”

Book Recommendations

Not Dead and Not for Sale
Written by Scott Weiland

Every few months, I have the urge to read a salacious rock memoir. For this round, I decided to read the memoir of Scott Weiland, former frontman of Stone Temple Pilots and Velvet Revolver. Despite his well-documented hellion existence, this autobiography is actually quite light. It barely taps into his motivations and inspiration, which is unfortunate as I feel he was one of the most magnetic frontmen of the 90s and 00s, and glosses over most of his non-musical narrative. The saddest chapters are of introducing his second wife and brother to heavy narcotics (who also passed from an overdose) but never fully taking accountability for it; the bitterness towards people in his life, including former bandmates, is quite evident in his writings. Scott died in 2015 from a drug overdose.

Favourite line: “I believe that love only happens once or twice, but why, I wonder, does love always equal a broken heart?”

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Fall to Pieces
Written by Mary Forsberg Weiland

In concert with Scott’s memoir, I also read one by his ex-wife, former model Mary Forsberg. Framed as a “memoir of drugs, rock and roll, and mental illness”, the book explores the impacts of bipolar disorder diagnosis framed within the whirlwind lifestyle of the music industry. It definitely provided a more robust telling of her and Scott’s life together and the highs and lows they faced. Of particular interest to me was Mary’s bittersweet recounting of the early days of her career and meeting Scott, a hired driver employed by her modelling agency, prior to their fame. Mary has become a vocal advocate of the negative impacts of drug use.

Favourite line: “The only camera that matters is the one that is in my mind, and there is nothing about that night (or what was left of it) that I will ever forget.”

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Call Me Indian
Written by Fred Sasakamoose

Fred Sasakamoose was one of the first Indigenous hockey players, playing for the Chicago Blackhawks. This intriguing memoir details more than his ascent into the NHL though; Fred was a residential school survivor. He talks openly of his time at Duck Lake Residential School, including being sexually assaulted and of the bodies of other students rumoured to be buried onsite (‘Call Me Indian’ was published prior to the discovery of hundreds of remains at residential schools across the country), as well as the rampant racism he faced throughout his life. The book is an excellent, unfiltered reflection on Canadiana that we are just starting to acknowledge. Sadly, Fred died from COVID-19 in 2020.

Favourite line: “For years and years, I had been wondering how I actually did with the Hawks. Was I really good enough to be on that ice? To play with those players? And now, six decades later, I could finally answer that question. Yes. I was good enough.”

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My Love Story
Written by Tina Turner

Tina Turner’s turbulent life is well documented in both print and film, but her later years are not as well known. This memoir briefly retells, one more time, what we know but mainly focuses on her eighties career resurgence and the happier days of meeting and marrying record executive Erwin Bach. Tina is one of my all-time favourite icons and I will never tire of receiving her wisdom. Her acknowledgement of never really feeling love from her mother and other prominent relationships is heartbreakingly raw, but her resilience and tenacity show nothing can hold her down. Tina has mentioned that she is effectively retired from entertainment; upon reading about her very detailed and candid health issues, there is understanding why.

Favourite line: “My biography is life, the life of a woman who started as a little girl from Nutbush, who, as I’ve said many times, had strong winds against her, yet she stepped out into the big world with nothing but her voice, her optimism, and her will to survive.”

My favourite Stone Temple Pilots song.

Book Recommendations

Can’t Even, How Millennials Became the Burnout Generation
Written by Anne Helen Petersen

Born in 1980, I am what’s referred to as a “geriatric millennial”. On one hand, it was the perfect time to grow up; my childhood was highlighted by an independence that seems lacking with today’s helicopter parenting and it was also one of the greatest eras for toys. In addition, I got to live my teen years without the pressures of social media. On the flip side though, as an adult I will never be able to pay off my mortgage on one income in less than a decade (like my father did); degrees mean nothing in terms of building a stable, fairly compensated career; obtaining a pension can be as elusive as winning the lottery; and, branding your person is normalized and often expected. Human beings are not commodities though. My generation’s existence is punctuated by turbulent economic conditions that only seek to benefit the already affluent and a lifestyle increasingly defined by burnout. This book does a great job of explaining the reasons as to why we’ve arrived at this point. While conditions seem unyielding, the book did make me consider how much I choose to participate.

Favorite line: “Faced with the prospect of working themselves into the ground on their own — and excelling — or working themselves into the ground while also doing all the work for the family as their careers are stymied at every turn, it’s no wonder that so many Japanese women are opting out: of marriage, of motherhood, or the idea that womanhood requires either.”

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The 99% Invisible City: A Field Guide to the Hidden World of Everyday Design
Written by Roman Mars and Kurt Kohlstedt

We drive down a city’s streets. We walk in the shadows of her skyscrapers and tree canopy. But do we notice all of the small, often hidden, details of the places we live and visit? The 99% Invisible City explores these minute curiosities. The book was interesting but could be improved with photography rather than stylistic illustrations.

Favourite line: “Animals are unlikely to see a return of the world as it was before cities, highways, and dams anytime soon, but for their part humans cannot just plow ahead with development and expect wildlife to cope. In some cases, the best approach may be simply for humans to get out of the way, but people need to understand that cities and nature are all part of the same ecosystem and that proactive strategies will be needed to help various species survive in a human-centric world.”

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Alone on the Wall
Written by Alex Honnold with David Roberts

Alex is an American rock climber famous for his free-solo climbs, a form of rock climbing without any safety apparatus such as ropes, harnesses or other protective equipment. His most famous ascent was at El Capitan at Yosemite National Park which was filmed for the award-winning documentary ‘Free Solo’. Alex is an interesting figure with unparalleled athletic prowess but this book barely digs into his motivations. It’s more technical than inspirational. I couldn’t finish it and recommend the doc instead.

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Pixar Storytelling
Written by Dean Movshovitz

A very slim book that doesn’t really aid with or inspire effective storytelling. There are much better books on writing to improve your craft.

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On the Road
Written by Jack Kerouac

I thought ‘On The Road’ would inspire a renewed sense of wanderlust for when this pandemic ends … instead, it reminded me of the worth of my time and to use it on pursuits of value. This book, about the exploits of a group of counterculture pseudo-intellectuals traveling America in the forties, is considered a classic by some. But its stream of consciousness writing is terrible to navigate and most of the narrative presented needs to remain in the past (or in a time capsule deep, deep, underground). The prose here is nothing to celebrate or romanticize.

Book Recommendations

When I was in high school, geography and history were two of my favourite subjects. I loved learning about ancient Egyptian culture, Greek mythology, and the social hierarchy of medieval times. It all seemed so rich and epic compared to Canada; despite hosting civilizations for thousands of years, our own history appeared limited and primitive. Not much was recorded. At the time I didn’t realize this was by design. One thing we weren’t taught in school was the dark history of Canada as settlers sought to eradicate and assimilate Indigenous people. I graduated in 1998. This information has been selectively hidden for generations.

It has only been in the past decade that the realities—and ongoing trauma—of what occurred has come to light for me. My employer makes every effort towards building this knowledge and understanding amongst staff. The education and immersion has been immensely valuable as I reflect upon the place I call home. It has also been a starting point for me to actively learn and do more towards reconciliation.

Just this week, the remains of 215 children were discovered in an unmarked grave at a former Residential School in Kamloops, British Columbia. The news is disturbing and a further tangible document of our nation’s shameful past. We should all learn from this.

If you are interested in reading more about Canada’s dark history, and ways you can start your own path to understanding and reconciliation, I recommend the following books as a starting point:

The Inconvenient Indian
Written by Thomas King

This book was the recipient of the 2014 RBC Taylor Prize, which awards outstanding literary works of non-fiction. It is a powerful, personal account of Indigenous and White settler relations, written in an engaging (and sometimes humorous) way that makes very uncomfortable truths more accessible to a mass audience. I feel this work should be required reading for all Canadians.

Favourite line: “Native history in North America as writ has never really been about Native people. It’s been about Whites and their needs and desires. What Native peoples wanted has never been a vital concern, has never been a political or social priority.”

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21 Things You May Not Know About the Indian Act
Written by Bob Joseph

The Indian Act is a Canadian Act of Parliament that concerns registered Indians, their bands, and the system of Indian Reserves (basically a manner in which settlers govern over the Indigenous population). It defines how a person can live. It defines how a person can be recognized. This book—an excellent companion piece to reading “An Inconvenient Indian”—reflects on how it shaped and degraded cultures and independent nations that should otherwise be granted autonomy.

Favourite line: “The Indian Act disrespected, ignored, and undermined the role of women in many ways. This dissolution of women’s stature, coupled with the abuses of the residential school system, has been a significant contributor to the vulnerability of Indigenous women.”

Book Recommendations

Everybody Loves Our Town: An Oral History of Grunge
Written by Mark Yarm

Continuing with the rock memoirs I’ve become engrossed with during this, my first pandemic, ‘Everybody Loves Our Town’ is an oral history of grunge, the genre that changed the music industry in the early 90s. Similar in style to ‘Meet Me In The Bathroom’, this book interviews all the major players to get a well-rounded, thorough perspective on the scene from multiple personalities including Dave Grohl (Nirvana/Foo Fighters), Chris Cornell (Soundgarden), Mark Arm (Mudhoney) and others. The best parts though are when Courtney Love shows up. Love her or hate her—I idolize her—she is someone who was driven to make a name for herself. And did—all while writing the best album of the era.

Favourite line: “I had conversations with Eddie Vedder and thought he was very weird and complicated. We’d sit and have breakfast together, and I’d ask how his day was going and his answers sounded like he was getting interviewed for a magazine. He was very careful about what he was saying, and he was just making this big, blanket political statements. Where I was just like, “Hey man, how are the waffles?”

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Find Your Artistic Voice: The Essential Guide to Working Your Creative Magic
Written by Lisa Congdon

As remote working extends into a second year, I’ve been thankful to be part of a professional organization that recognizes the challenges this has caused especially in how people connect with their peers. To that end, I joined a virtual book club they started relating to those in the creative field and this was our first subject to read and review. The book provides pretty standard advice for those who may be facing a drought of inspiration. Much like making a habit of exercise, flexing one’s artistic muscle is all about showing up, doing the work and reaping the (eventual) rewards.

Favourite line: “You may not be the most famous artist that ever lived, but there is this value of deriving joy from whatever it is that you do. That’s just good enough.”

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The Design of Everyday Things
Written by Don Norman

I started this book after receiving a glowing recommendation. Its pages detail the thinking and methodology that goes into the design of everyday items, while also commenting on how poor design impacts user experience, understanding and enjoyment. Some of the examples included are quite dated (such as VCRs) and, ironically, the design of the book itself is not very pleasing. While some in the field may be inspired at the insight found therein, I found it difficult to become engaged and ultimately abandoned this book.

Give It Away

It was upon entering the seventh grade, and thus starting a new school, that I noticed my classmates’ fashion and music sense change. Some of it may have been attributed to naturally evolving tastes, some of it to that age-old desire to fit in and conform to the herd. There were seniors to impress, so all those New Kids on the Block tees were replaced by Metallica, Nirvana and the eight-pronged asterisk logo of the Red Hot Chilli Peppers.

I wasn’t always aware of what was trending or cool as I didn’t have MTV or the MuchMusic tv channel growing up, instead relying solely upon pop-oriented radio and network shows like American Bandstand and Solid Gold to form opinions on what I liked (and yes, I was a New Kids fan). One thing I did know though was that whenever my mom heard a Red Hot Chilli Peppers song come on, she would immediately change the channel. She hated them. Absolutely loathed them. I wasn’t a fan myself but I often wondered what this band—led by a perpetually shirtless, tribal tattooed lead singer who seems contractually obligated to sing about California—could have done to offend my mother?

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Scandalous rock-and-roll memoirs were once my favourite literary genre. I attribute this to the fact that I’m an introvert who gets to live vicariously through the tales of wanton lust and debauchery normally lining their pages. So when I saw ‘Scar Tissue’ written by Anthony Kiedis, lead singer of the Red Hot Chilli Peppers, on the bargain shelves of my local McNally Robinson, I decided that $7.99 was a steal of a price to pay for 465 pages of trashy escapism.

I didn’t foresee the added expense of requiring gallons of bleach to bathe in while reading it though.

Maybe it’s because I’m older, wiser and have less tolerance for people like this but Anthony Kiedis’ recollection of life is less that of a rock star and more of a self-indulgent, misogynistic narcissist who got lucky. His story is that of a high school truant who failed to mature because he’s always been rewarded for his deplorable behaviour. There was no insight into his band, his craft or the era of which they dominated, every chapter instead consisted of sharing, in detail, all the women he had sex with along with rating their performance. He even threw in a few pictures of his exes posing topless (for what purpose, I will never know). Really creepy though considering he was 43-years-old when the book was published is how many of his boasts were about his girlfriends and other conquests being underage, praising one sixteen-year-old paramour for looking after him while they “played house” and:

While bullshit likes this takes up a bulk of the book, the other half—the only part I am mildly sympathetic to—describes the rinse-and-repeat cycle of drug addiction. Anthony goes into great detail in regards to his pursuit of this demon, not just the feeling of taking the substance itself but also admitting how other elements made the experience so thrilling such as how a florescent purple light illuminating the exterior of a seedy L.A. hotel beckoned him in as the perfect place to hole up for a few days to shoot heroin. His many (many) trips to rehab are also documented.

But while that may explain behaviour, it doesn't excuse it. Ultimately, this is long-winded braggadocio.

What I learned from this book is that sometimes mother knows best.

I will concede on this though. Despite my repulsion, he did write one of the definitive songs of the 90s. Shame I can no longer enjoy it.

Favourite line: “[Girlfriend] Jennifer had slept with Chris Fish, the keyboard player for Fishbone, one of our brother L.A. groups, while I was out on tour. But it still didn’t compute with me. I could have seen if she’d slept with Angelo Moore, who was the good-lucking lead singer. But Chris Fish—a guy with bad dreadlocks and worse fashion sense?”

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Prince: The Beautiful Ones
Written by Prince and edited posthumously by Dan Piepenbring

Another music memoir that is a little less linear as it was only partially written and still in the production phase before Prince’s untimely death in 2016. The book offers a brief glimpse into the life and mind of a legendary performer who carried his air of mystery into legend. The book is interesting but at times hard to read, as one of Prince’s requests was that visual icons - similar to when he changed his name to an unpronounceable symbol - be used in place of actual words.

Favourite line: “I like dreaming now more than I used to. Some of my friends have passed away, and I see them in my dreams. It’s like they are here, and the dreams are just like waking sometimes.”

Art is how we decorate space. Music is how we decorate time.

Discover & share this Culture GIF with everyone you know. GIPHY is how you search, share, discover, and create GIFs.

When I was twelve-years-old, I wanted to be like Mariah Carey. I, of course, had her albums (or, rather, cassette tapes) and would try to emulate—poorly—her famous five octave vocal range while dancing in the basement. But like every little girl seeking someone to idolize, I also wanted to look like her. By replicating her appearance, I felt I could also pass as beautiful and talented and thus become respected and beloved rather than skirting the edge of being an outsider in the notoriously fickle arena of junior high (which I was about to enter). The summer before starting at my new school, I begged my mom for a haircut and PERM(!). To my credit, a perm was still “of the time” and I wanted to make a statement. I needed to be a new person for this milestone event in my young life and it was all to start with my hair. She obliged and we went to a small, nondescript salon in the basement of a small office building in our neighbourhood. I shared an image of Mariah from her MTV Unplugged appearance (above) and told the stylist it was what I wanted to look like. She reviewed it briefly and asked me to sit down. Through age and experience, I would realize this response means someone doesn’t really give a fuck what you want but at the time I was still able to naively believe they cared.

I can’t remember how I felt when it was all done. My parents certainly made no comments that weren’t positive but that would be short-lived. During a visit to extended family, I overheard an aunt laugh and comment to another on “the bad perm” I had. Negatively commenting on a kid’s appearance within earshot is never something that adults should do, lest they internalize it and have it lead to a life-long complex, but it did have the benefit of preparing me for the reaction I would receive when I started school. Needless to say, my transformative appearance did turn me into a new person, as I wanted, just not the person I desired to be. I was not Mariah. I was Deborah … with really bad hair.

I relate this story as I am reading Mariah’s memoir The Meaning of Mariah Carey and it brought about a flood of 90s nostalgia for me. I pivoted towards other music as junior high and then high school progressed, with Courtney Love becoming the person I chose to emulate (I’m sure to the dismay of my parents) but childhood icons have a way of being part of our lives even as we move on. When I turned eighteen and started to visit nightclubs nearly every weekend, Mariah’s evolving, more urban sound continued to provide soundtrack in passing. Not to mention the fashion sense of the time which she led with now straightened hair and midriff-revealing tops and thigh-revealing skirts (which I now lack the body and confidence to pull off but am glad I did when I could). When she visited my hometown during the Emancipation of Mimi tour, I bought tickets and was entertained with one of the top three best concerts I’ve ever attended (with The Hives and M.I.A. being the other two, showing how diverse my music tastes evolved).

The book details what I long assumed. That the diva persona Mariah took on is mostly a one-sided act to a multi-dimensional artist. That appearances of having it all can betray the truth. That childhood trauma reverberates through the decades. There’s also candid talk about the notoriously shady music industry; her creative process and favourite part of writing a song; a toxic, stifling marriage; and, relationships that leave one longing, with Mariah admitting that her affair with baseball superstar Derek Jeter (unconsummated until divorce, she stresses) left her heartbroken for years about what could have been. Rarely do you see someone so vulnerable as within these pages and it is completely refreshing. Reading about her life as an adult made me relate on a level beyond the superficial. Rather than coveting her appearance, I now admire her resolve.

The Meaning of Mariah Carey
Written by Mariah Carey with Michaela Angela Davis

Favourite line: “But ours is a story of betrayal and beauty. Of love and abandonment. Of sacrifice and survival. I’ve emancipated myself from bondage several times, but there is a cloud of sadness that I suspect will always hang over me, not simply because of my mother but because of our complicated journey together.”

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The Gift of Fear
Written by Gavin deBecker

I’ve always felt that a women’s superpower is her intuition. This book delves into why we should listen to that instinct, breaking down the strategies and tricks people use to let your guard down leaving you vulnerable. The author will teach you how to use fear to your advantage by recognizing potentially dangerous situations and (predictable) behaviours in a number of scenarios.

Favourite line: “Nature’s greatest accomplishment, the human brain, is never more efficient or invested than when its host is at risk.”

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On Writing: A Memoir of the Craft
Written by Stephen King

During these times of social distancing, self-isolation and tons of newly-found free time, I’ve been motivating myself to learn more about the art and craft of writing. In addition to taking a workshop with one of my favourite authors, Anne Lamott, I’ve also read through tips from another, very well-known master: Stephen King. This book acts as a brief memoir into the life of the famous horror and supernatural author, his childhood and struggles (including the 1999 accident in which a distracted driver almost left him paralyzed) but the other half of it’s too-short 291 pages is straight-up insight into how to write in a way that connects and illuminates. Highly recommended.

Favourite line: “I distrust plot for two reasons: first, because our lives are largely plotless, even when you add in all our reasonable precautions and careful planning; second, because I believe plotting and the spontaneity of real creation aren’t compatible.”

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My favourite Mariah song (written about Derek Jeter while still married to Tommy Mottola):