Book Recommendations

When I was in high school, geography and history were two of my favourite subjects. I loved learning about ancient Egyptian culture, Greek mythology, and the social hierarchy of medieval times. It all seemed so rich and epic compared to Canada; despite hosting civilizations for thousands of years, our own history appeared limited and primitive. Not much was recorded. At the time I didn’t realize this was by design. One thing we weren’t taught in school was the dark history of Canada as settlers sought to eradicate and assimilate Indigenous people. I graduated in 1998. This information has been selectively hidden for generations.

It has only been in the past decade that the realities—and ongoing trauma—of what occurred has come to light for me. My employer makes every effort towards building this knowledge and understanding amongst staff. The education and immersion has been immensely valuable as I reflect upon the place I call home. It has also been a starting point for me to actively learn and do more towards reconciliation.

Just this week, the remains of 215 children were discovered in an unmarked grave at a former Residential School in Kamloops, British Columbia. The news is disturbing and a further tangible document of our nation’s shameful past. We should all learn from this.

If you are interested in reading more about Canada’s dark history, and ways you can start your own path to understanding and reconciliation, I recommend the following books as a starting point:

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The Inconvenient Indian
Written by Thomas King

This book was the recipient of the 2014 RBC Taylor Prize, which awards outstanding literary works of non-fiction. It is a powerful, personal account of Indigenous and White settler relations, written in an engaging (and sometimes humorous) way that makes very uncomfortable truths more accessible to a mass audience. I feel this work should be required reading for all Canadians.

Favourite line: “Native history in North America as writ has never really been about Native people. It’s been about Whites and their needs and desires. What Native peoples wanted has never been a vital concern, has never been a political or social priority.”


21 Things You May Not Know About the Indian Act
Written by Bob Joseph

The Indian Act is a Canadian Act of Parliament that concerns registered Indians, their bands, and the system of Indian Reserves (basically a manner in which settlers govern over the Indigenous population). It defines how a person can live. It defines how a person can be recognized. This book—an excellent companion piece to reading “An Inconvenient Indian”—reflects on how it shaped and degraded cultures and independent nations that should otherwise be granted autonomy.

Favourite line: “The Indian Act disrespected, ignored, and undermined the role of women in many ways. This dissolution of women’s stature, coupled with the abuses of the residential school system, has been a significant contributor to the vulnerability of Indigenous women.”

Art is how we decorate space. Music is how we decorate time.

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When I was twelve-years-old, I wanted to be like Mariah Carey. I, of course, had her albums (or, rather, cassette tapes) and would try to emulate—poorly—her famous five octave vocal range while dancing in the basement. But like every little girl seeking someone to idolize, I also wanted to look like her. By replicating her appearance, I felt I could also pass as beautiful and talented and thus become respected and beloved rather than skirting the edge of being an outsider in the notoriously fickle arena of junior high (which I was about to enter). The summer before starting at my new school, I begged my mom for a haircut and PERM(!). To my credit, a perm was still “of the time” and I wanted to make a statement. I needed to be a new person for this milestone event in my young life and it was all to start with my hair. She obliged and we went to a small, nondescript salon in the basement of a small office building in our neighbourhood. I shared an image of Mariah from her MTV Unplugged appearance (above) and told the stylist it was what I wanted to look like. She reviewed it briefly and asked me to sit down. Through age and experience, I would realize this response means someone doesn’t really give a fuck what you want but at the time I was still able to naively believe they cared.

I can’t remember how I felt when it was all done. My parents certainly made no comments that weren’t positive but that would be short-lived. During a visit to extended family, I overheard an aunt laugh and comment to another on “the bad perm” I had. Negatively commenting on a kid’s appearance within earshot is never something that adults should do, lest they internalize it and have it lead to a life-long complex, but it did have the benefit of preparing me for the reaction I would receive when I started school. Needless to say, my transformative appearance did turn me into a new person, as I wanted, just not the person I desired to be. I was not Mariah. I was Deborah … with really bad hair.

I relate this story as I am reading Mariah’s memoir The Meaning of Mariah Carey and it brought about a flood of 90s nostalgia for me. I pivoted towards other music as junior high and then high school progressed, with Courtney Love becoming the person I chose to emulate (I’m sure to the dismay of my parents) but childhood icons have a way of being part of our lives even as we move on. When I turned eighteen and started to visit nightclubs nearly every weekend, Mariah’s evolving, more urban sound continued to provide soundtrack in passing. Not to mention the fashion sense of the time which she led with now straightened hair and midriff-revealing tops and thigh-revealing skirts (which I now lack the body and confidence to pull off but am glad I did when I could). When she visited my hometown during the Emancipation of Mimi tour, I bought tickets and was entertained with one of the top three best concerts I’ve ever attended (with The Hives and M.I.A. being the other two, showing how diverse my music tastes evolved).

The book details what I long assumed. That the diva persona Mariah took on is mostly a one-sided act to a multi-dimensional artist. That appearances of having it all can betray the truth. That childhood trauma reverberates through the decades. There’s also candid talk about the notoriously shady music industry; her creative process and favourite part of writing a song; a toxic, stifling marriage; and, relationships that leave one longing, with Mariah admitting that her affair with baseball superstar Derek Jeter (unconsummated until divorce, she stresses) left her heartbroken for years about what could have been. Rarely do you see someone so vulnerable as within these pages and it is completely refreshing. Reading about her life as an adult made me relate on a level beyond the superficial. Rather than coveting her appearance, I now admire her resolve.

The Meaning of Mariah Carey
Written by Mariah Carey with Michaela Angela Davis

Favourite line: “But ours is a story of betrayal and beauty. Of love and abandonment. Of sacrifice and survival. I’ve emancipated myself from bondage several times, but there is a cloud of sadness that I suspect will always hang over me, not simply because of my mother but because of our complicated journey together.”


The Gift of Fear
Written by Gavin deBecker

I’ve always felt that a women’s superpower is her intuition. This book delves into why we should listen to that instinct, breaking down the strategies and tricks people use to let your guard down leaving you vulnerable. The author will teach you how to use fear to your advantage by recognizing potentially dangerous situations and (predictable) behaviours in a number of scenarios.

Favourite line: “Nature’s greatest accomplishment, the human brain, is never more efficient or invested than when its host is at risk.”


On Writing: A Memoir of the Craft
Written by Stephen King

During these times of social distancing, self-isolation and tons of newly-found free time, I’ve been motivating myself to learn more about the art and craft of writing. In addition to taking a workshop with one of my favourite authors, Anne Lamott, I’ve also read through tips from another, very well-known master: Stephen King. This book acts as a brief memoir into the life of the famous horror and supernatural author, his childhood and struggles (including the 1999 accident in which a distracted driver almost left him paralyzed) but the other half of it’s too-short 291 pages is straight-up insight into how to write in a way that connects and illuminates. Highly recommended.

Favourite line: “I distrust plot for two reasons: first, because our lives are largely plotless, even when you add in all our reasonable precautions and careful planning; second, because I believe plotting and the spontaneity of real creation aren’t compatible.”


My favourite Mariah song (written about Derek Jeter while still married to Tommy Mottola):