Some scenes from a lazy afternoon spent exploring the grid roads of Saskatchewan:
Voodoo
For the second time, a snake came between my partner and I.
Literally.
Years ago we were on a romantic walk comparing the contrast in our upbringing when I boasted about being a “tough girl from Winnipeg”. With no word of a lie, right after the words fell from my mouth a snake came jutting out of the grass as if on cue and made me squeal like a frightened mouse. It was only a garter snake but my cover of toughness was foiled. My partner laughs about it to this day (it was beautifully set up by an malevolent God). On this occasion, while arguing over whether or not I was wearing appropriate shoes for a hike (I had on sandals as part of the Pacific Coast Trail would cover a beach and I didn’t want sand in my sneakers), my partner expressed that we couldn’t be certain which species of animals were native to the region including, perhaps, poisonous snakes which my feet were fully exposed to.
Again—no word of a lie—cue a snake slithering through the four (or so) feet of space between my partner and I.
What was originally supposed to be a relaxing hike with the ocean and all its majesty at my side ended with me screaming and sprinting back to the car as fast as I could.
For the record, this also ended up being a garter snake.
In Crescent City, CA, I got to see some less scary wildlife including several injured walruses being treated at a marine animal rehabilitation centre, and one curious sea lion swimming around the marina in search of fish. We later hit the 101 and began driving back north up the Oregon Coast to our next destination, Lincoln City.
Highway 101, also known as the Pacific Coast Highway, is one of the most scenic drives on the planet. It is a near constant vista of sand and surf for thousands of miles. I really wish I had a dash cam for this road trip to relive parts of it. What really amazed me was that there was hardly anyone on it. We were traveling during peak tourist season and for great stretches seemed to be the only two people in the universe. Oregon has always been like that though; even while traveling as a kid, I recall the beaches being mostly desolate. The temperature, while inviting for a Canadian, seemed to scare off most locals who appreciated it from a distance. These reasons contribute to the fact that I truly feel Oregon is the most underrated place in the United States. It’s all yours.
In Lincoln City, we stayed at a rented beach house. I tried not to get too comfortable as the lifestyle is beyond my means for anything longer than a few days. But should I ever land that long dreamed of lottery win, a home within earshot of the sound of waves lapping on a shore is at the top of my list. I had a lot of time to contemplate this as the weather was raining for most of our stay. I also thought about my father. This was one of HIS favourite spots as well. It feels like just yesterday we were here climbing the rocks with my childhood dog, Pepper, counting starfish, and marvelling at the giant kelp washed ashore each morning. Oh, how full of wonder the sea was and still is. But these memories are from long ago. Of a time that could never be replicated. So I store them in a heart-shaped box and aim to make new ones.
While finally turning round to head home, a stop at the legendary Voodoo Doughnut was a must. There are several locations within Portland, OR. The one I visited appeared to be an old casual sit-down restaurant that had it’s prime in the eighties (it specifically conjured memories of Bonanza Steakhouse for me, a long-gone staple of middle class Canadian dining). They outfitted the establishment to modern instagram-worthy tastes, including an exterior selfie wall and area for branded merchandise. I was not there for a t-shirt though, I wanted a doughnut (maybe two). The selection at Voodoo is legendary—I think they are the only place to have a doughnut shaped like a penis as part of their daily offerings—and at first I was overwhelmed with what to choose. I eventually settled on my favourites: one maple dip and one “voodoo doll” (which was a raspberry jam stuffed chocolate dip). After brief small talk with my server, I departed and went to my car to enjoy.
I bit that chocolate bastard’s head off in one bite.
It was a fitting conclusion to a “tough Winnipeg girl’s” summer of doughnuts.
Krispy Kreme
Driving the route from Montana to Northern California, I was met with heavy nostalgia for my childhood and the numerous summer road trips my family would take down these same highways in conquest of the beauty and adventure awaiting on the Pacific Coast. It was interesting to note which things changed and which stayed the same. For example, there was a roadside rest stop in Washington State where I vividly recall feeding seagulls as a kid—at the time they hovered near my face as I threw them McDonalds french fries—and sure enough their descendants were still there begging for scraps. I felt bad that I may have played a role in their inherited junk food addiction.
One thing that did evolve from the past was the method with which we navigated. My partner brought his Garmin and it made getting to our destination pretty brainless. Even driving through the freeways of Portland was a breeze as it guided me into the exact lanes I needed to be in at all times. It made me respect my father and his own inherent skill in this area. Yes, maps existed (and I’m sure my mother was a great help in deciphering them) but I can’t imagine trekking through a place I didn’t know, with a kid and a dog and a small trailer (not to mention the freakin’ SIZE of vehicles from the past - we drove a wood-panelled station wagon the size of a boat) and not being stressed out at where the next gas station, washroom or hotel with vacancy might be. I feel I’ve forgotten what it’s like to live in an unconnected world.
In Kennewick, Washington, I had the next donut in my summer of donuts. Near our hotel was a Krispy Kreme and I had to make a pilgrimage. I’ve had them before but never, ever a hot, fresh glazed straight out of the oven. When the employee asked me what I wanted, I made mention of this and he was flabbergasted. How was it possible that someone has never tried their original classic? It was, after all, quite famous. I explained how I was from Canada and we didn’t even have Krispy Kreme up there. He took pity and gave me free donuts which were delicious. It was unexpected and the employee’s friendliness was a highlight of my trip.
Within a few days, we made it to the hilly southern region of Oregon where we stayed at another KOA in a town called Grant’s Pass. Our cabin overlooked “Jumpoff Joe Creek”, a watering hole that was at the bottom of a small waterfall. It was July 4 but the campground was surprisingly still and quiet - there was a fireworks ban and most families present celebrated America’s independence with a simple flickering campfire and the soothing soundtrack of nature. We made barbecued cajun chicken with corn-on-the-cob and did same. The next day, we briefly visited a Wal-Mart in Grant’s Pass where we discovered that Oregon is an open carry state; my partner was shocked at a father walking around the grocery aisles with his kids while a gun rested in a holster around his waist. I warned him not to stare … and that we should shop at Target in the future.
The majestic Redwood Forest of Northern California was one of our major destinations during this road trip. It did not disappoint. I didn’t fully appreciate it when I was a kid but this time around, as an adult who has travelled and seen some of the best of the world, I will state that it is one of the most magical places on earth. We spent days hiking through its trails, in the shadow of giants thousands of years old. The silence was something I noted in particular; we were so deep within nature that any noise pollution of modern life was completely non-existent. No whir of the highway. Not even a faint text notification reaching a fellow hiker’s phone. The aural were birds and the pounding of our feet on the dirt trail. I was sad to leave.
A Summer of Donuts
My summer of donuts started in earnest. A maple dip here. An apple fritter there. But then my travels took me to places with some famous gourmet shops—including the original, Voodoo Donuts in Portland, Oregon—and I decided to make an event of it. After all, I’m not a Kardashian and my common law doesn’t care if I occasionally test the stretchiness on the waist of my pants. While in Vancouver in May, Cartems (billed as the city’s best) was on the route to my conference every morning so I checked it out. Twice. It was definitely better than our nation’s standby, Tim Hortons, but nowhere near the best I’ve ever had. You may think my judgement is steeped in bias because it’s located in my hometown, but after this deep-fried odyssey I still feel that Oh Doughnuts in Winnipeg is by-far the best donut I’ve ever had (the lemon meringue is one of the best desserts, period). Recently, they released a savoury pickle donut with buttermilk ranch topping and I so can’t wait to try it.
After spending some time in the Peg this summer eating donuts, catching up with loved ones and reminiscing on a life once lived, my partner and I embarked on our annual summer road trip. This year, our adventure would take us down the scenic Pacific Coast Highway into northern California for some hiking amongst the largest trees in the world. The stress-free bliss I envisioned was tested a bit as we crossed the border into the United States—this always seems deliberately unwelcoming and almost hostile compared to entering by flight—but the scenic vistas of Montana quickly made up for it. This state is absolutely stunning … and sparse. As I noted during last year’s excursion, you really get to appreciate the landscape while you drive as there aren’t many other vehicles on the road, even during the height of travel season. I’m particularly fond of Helena which, at a population of just over 31,000, is one of the smallest state capitals I’ve visited.
We again stayed overnight at the Great Falls, MT, KOA picking up groceries at the nearby Walmart and making an evening of hotdogs, toasted marshmallows and “cheap but good and good but cheap” Manischewitz wine, which never seems to produce a hangover no matter the volume consumed. In between this roasting and toasting, I’d steal glances of the mountain range in the distance and try to catch the transition of light as the pastel tones of the dusk sky turned to amethyst then starry black. This is storied land; the archetype of the Wild West that still elicits dreams and inspiration. Once the great frontier that the Cree, Salish and Sioux called home, and that Lewis and Clarke later crossed in search of colonial discovery, the trails have since evolved from dirt paths to the interstate but Montana remains a nod to the past.
Pausing one’s world to do nothing but appreciate the clouds is highly recommended and a much greater use of time than allowing the false reality of scrolling through social media to make you feel bad about yourself. With all of its rustic charm and seeming aversion to following the herd, Montana is a great place for this type of introspection and respite from the modern world. Just take in the view and breathe.
Back to Nature, Part V
As a holiday winds down, the sadness of its impending end can temper the joy of the remaining days. Not having anything to look forward to can rob one of living in the moment of the experience. For this road trip, I wanted something to anticipate. I wanted to end on a "bang".
And I found it.
The Black Swan Inn in Pocatello, Idaho is one of the most amazing hotels I've ever stayed at. It is themed and the attention to detail in each unique suite is truly impressive. For our penultimate stay, we booked the Mayan Rainforest Room which included a walk-in shower in the base of a "tree trunk", the branches of which hid the second floor jacuzzi tub. Next to the leopard-print bed was a 15-ft waterfall with a live koi pond. Even the bathroom was painted in murals that made it seem like one was deep in the jungle. I cannot recommend this place enough and am definitely going to plan future roadtrips to navigate through the area so I can return. Whether one's stay is for a romantic evening or honeymoon, it is a gem.
Fun fact: Pocatello, Idaho, is also home to the Museum of Clean.
Our final night was spent getting back to nature again - comfortably - in a deluxe cabin at another KOA campground in Great Falls, Montana, where we used our fleeting holiday time to wine and dine on a barbecue feast while watching the golden tones of sunset pour over the vista of prairie and mountain laid before us. I felt contentment in the moment. I felt renewed from the journey, despite its brevity. I was born to explore. To learn. To live. I am so thankful my father instilled this curiosity and love of travel within me. I thought of him often on this trip; in solitude I've shared the details with him, hoping my whisper carries on the air to wherever his spirit resides.
As the evening came to a close, I tried to enjoy the ambient noise of the whirring overhead fan while fighting the urge to turn on the television to catch up on world events. While my partner showered, I figured sneaking in ten minutes of numbing my brain wouldn't do too much damage and searched for the remote. The only channel with reception was showing a wrestling match but it wasn't WWE; in fact, I didn't recognize any of the characters on screen ... until I did.
"Holy shit", I said to myself.
Years (and years) ago, when I was a teenager, a colleague had taken me to watch her boyfriend wrestle in a local Winnipeg league called Top Rope Championship Wrestling (TRCW). Growing up with Hulk Hogan and the like on Saturday afternoons, I immediately got into it. The skill, the theatrics, the swagger all appealed to this shy girl who was looking to break free from her high school rep of being a wallflower. So when I was asked to valet their tag team, I took up the offer. It might not be a Toastmaster event, but the experience definitely instilled a confidence in me to command a crowd and not be so self-conscious. Anyway, there was one person who always stood out at TRCW. A curly-haired teenager armed with a steely resolve (and an apparent closet full of Hawaiian shirts) who could maneuver around the ring with technique that was lightyears beyond his older, more seasoned opponents. I recall even mentioning to others that if anyone could make it in the big leagues, it would be him.
So to my surprise and delight, there he was—on the tiny television in my cabin in Montana— Kenny Omega, Heavyweight Champion for New Japan Pro Wrestling and Sports Illustrated's tap for next big thing in sports entertainment.
One never knows where the journey in life will lead.
Sin City, Part IV
Bright light city gonna set my soul
Gonna set my soul on fire
Got a whole lot of money that's ready to burn
So get those stakes up higher
Las Vegas, Nevada, is an unremarkable four-hour drive from the Grand Canyon. Remaining in one's air conditioned vehicle is a comfortable way to pass the time, although it gives a false sense of just how excruciating it is outside. Sure, I saw the external temperature listed as 44 degrees celsius but it's easy to remain oblivious to what that actually feels like until you step outside and have it bearing down on your person. It feels like being smothered in an invisible weighted blanket that just came out of Hell's dryer.
This would be my third trek to Sin City, a place I normally would avoid as I am definitely not a Vegas-type person, but I thought it would be interesting for my partner who is from a communist state in India to see the trappings of capitalism at its grandest form. The bougie in Las Vegas is incomparable to anything he grew up with (although he has experienced Dubai which is absolutely the Vegas of the Middle East). This would also mark the first time I had a vehicle while visiting, previously only exploring a limited tourist area on foot. Driving down the glittering Strip at night, next to Lamborghinis and other pricy Italian sports cars, owned and rented, was a truly memorable moment. But it was also fascinating to see the side of Vegas beyond the glitz and glamour - it's nondescript suburbia.
Our hotel room wasn't ready when we arrived, so we spent a few hours shopping at a few stores along Tropicana Avenue including a grocery store that had slot machines within it. It was around 2:00pm and people were playing them. Naturally. We then hit up a Wal-Mart to pick up some essentials. Perusing American big box stores is a fun experience for me. I like seeing all the stuff they don't sell up in Canada (and there is a lot of it). I've always been the type to want to try everything, although with my recent evolution in eating habits I've become a bit more discerning. Nonetheless, the candy and chip aisle had me twitching like a junkie needing a fix. I permitted myself a bag of Doritos in a flavour I'd never encountered before as well as an Almond Joy. The following day we shopped like the wild rock stars we are at both Whole Foods and Trader Joes where I bought a number of healthier groceries including different types of flour and spices that I've been incorporating into my cooking since returning. Sidenote: dark moscavado sugar from the island of Mauritius is legit changing my life.
Our hotel room at the Luxor still wasn't ready when we returned, leaving us to loiter around the casino and adjacent properties where I became so parched after a ten-minute walk outside that I didn't bat an eye at spending $6.50 U.S. on a small bottle of water. During our excursion, my partner could not believe that all of these giant hotels had giant casinos operating twenty-four hours a day. He didn't see a point to it. Admittedly, neither do I. But one of the pillars of the American business model is the belief that a fool and their money are soon parted. Nowhere has this belief gained more efficiency than Vegas.
It was July fourth and crowds were to be expected but our hotel appeared to be a disorganized mess. It took an additional three hours before we could check in. I was relieved when we finally got the key, only to be disappointed upon entering the room. The upgraded suite that I assumed would have a decent view overlooked a roof, while the only recognizable landmark visible was the Mandalay Bay tower looming in the background in which the deadliest mass shooting in United States history occurred less than a year ago.
There's a thousand pretty women waiting out there
They're all living devil may care
And I'm just the devil with love to spare
Viva Las Vegas
We didn't gamble. We didn't see any shows. We did, however, have an enjoyable history lesson one evening at Vegas' Neon Museum. Yes, I'm a nerd who would rather be feeding my mind than drinking it into oblivion at a nightclub. No shame in that. I've always been fascinated with the art of neon signage. I feel it is a legit form of advertising that is lost in modern society, at least in the Western world where it is unfairly considered kitsch. In parts of Asia I have traveled it is as much a part of urban identity as, say, a park with entire blocks (even neighbourhoods) bathing in their glow. I personally akin it to an illuminated garden that magically comes alive as the sun sets. I admit, it might not be for everyone, but in an era of branded homogenization, imagine how much more interesting the world would be with less golden arches and more unique visual design morphing our streetscapes into public galleries.
Northern Idiocy, Part III
I woke up in the middle of the night absolutely frozen and in a tug-of-war over blankets. I'm from Canada. I believe I am an expert in cold. I don't need to make up stories for my grandkids, I actually do walk to work when it's below -40 degrees celcius. So it's simply naivety that I, of course, knew it got cold in the desert at night but I didn't realize exactly HOW cold it got. It is downright bone-chilling! Having said that, I'm from Winnipeg so naturally I won the battle for the comforter.
If you've never been to the Grand Canyon, let me describe the experience: if visiting the South Rim—the most popular location to view this natural wonder—you will start your day, preferably early, driving in from either Flagstaff or Williams. The journey will take just over an hour on a single lane highway in which not a single vehicle will pay heed to the posted speed limit. There are few places to stop. You will, however, pass a Flintstones campground that looks like it was constructed in 2018 B.C. (it might be enjoyable to visit for nostalgic purposes if it weren't so damn depressing). As you near the national park entrance, the landscape will change from desert to thick forest. Afterwards, you will be met with several supersized parking lots. Even if you arrive early, like we did, they will all be near capacity.
I managed to park in the last row of the last lot which was near some trees that I hoped would provide a bit of respite from the blazing sun. HA! Northern idiocy redux. Both my car and myself would feel like they were set on fire at the end of the day, the non-covered parts of my skin turning a hue comparable to Pantone 186. What you might not realize is how few amenities there are next to these giant parking lots at the Grand Canyon, just a visitor centre and a scenic overlook. To get to the township and other points of interest, one must get on one of several bus lines that takes visitors around the park proper. Of course, during the summer these have longer line-ups than Disneyland. It makes for a long, sweltering day of mostly just standing around. I did about an hour's worth of hiking, took a few selfies to prove I was there and then left with a souvenir bottle of Canyon Cutter white wine.
The Grand Canyon is, undoubtably, spectacular. But I did not feel relaxed there or in touch with nature. I felt hurried. I felt stressed. At the end of it, I didn't feel any deep connection. For me, it paled in comparison to the isolated, howl-at-the-moon wild of highway 89A from the previous day. That was very much the highlight of my trip.
The evening was spent back in Williams, Arizona, only this time at a hotel rather than a teepee. Williams is a small town located on historic U.S. Route 66., also known as the "Main Street of America". It is, perhaps, the most iconic highway in all of the United States, previously acting as the main thoroughfare for people who migrated from the midwest to southern California during the Great Depression. The town of just over 3,000 citizens definitely caters to tourists with a nod to Americana; there are more classic fifties-style diners within its boundaries than any major city I've visited before. As well, the imagery of James Dean and Marilyn Monroe appear to still resonate, symbolizing a feeling (or idea) we collectively aim to capture.
We walked the streets as sunlight transitioned to dusk, conversing about what America was and what it's become. We later returned to our hotel room to drink.
Interstate 15, Part II
I like Montana. I like the mountains and crisp air and postcard panoramas. The first night of our road trip we stayed in its capital, Helena, which has less than 32,000 citizens. This statistic nicely details just how sparse the population is within the state. It's very ... breathable. Outside the natural scenery, the capital is somewhat nondescript in appearance; being two hours delayed from the unexpected detour, we made our way to a wood-fired pizza place and then just retired to our hotel room for the night not feeling like we missed anything. For future trips, I feel Butte would have been a better overnight destination. With snow-capped peaks framing it in the distance and historic architecture steeped in legend, the word "majestic" seems well-suited to describe its beauty.
One can take Interstate 15 all the way from the Canadian border to the Mexican one. It's a nice drive with lots of rest stops, fuel stations and, within Utah at least, numerous billboards reminding people that God is watching and you should atone for your sins.
Outside of having an ultra-conservative religious base that practices polygamy, I didn't really know anything about Utah. Ignoring the influence of creed and instead seeking enlightenment from mother nature, I was completely in awe of the rock formations in the southern portion of the state which includes a number of protected areas, national and state parks such as the breathtaking Grand Staircase National Monument. Eventually turning east off of Interstate 15, we were in the thick of it while enroute to our next stop: the biggest tourist destination of them all – the Grand Canyon in Arizona.
Highway 89A in particular, a scenic route that runs through a Navaho reservation in Arizona, was the highlight of my entire trip. Driving through it was a showcase of some of America's most iconic landscape; landscape which has featured in many a Hollywood western to represent our storied, brutal history. I half-expected the ghost of John Wayne to manifest on the horizon as we drove this isolated stretch of roadway. Or perhaps hear the distant call of the roadrunner. Meep Meep.
Our adventure-filled day ended on a magical note as we slept in a teepee under a galaxy of visible stars. Living in a city with constant light pollution, this reminder of the scale of the universe (and my place within it) was a cathartic ending to a long, tiring, immensely memorable day.